A
Song For Marion
Bum
note
Grumpy,
cantankerous pensioner Arthur (Terence Stamp) cares for his terminally ill wife
Marion (Vanessa Redgrave), resentfully tolerating her involvement with a local senior
citizens choir, the hilariously monickered OAPZ, led by vivacious music teacher
Elizabeth (Gemma Arterton) who encourages the loveable old codgers to sing
contemporary pop songs.
A
proud, unforgiving man, Arthur has few friends and is estranged from his son
James (Christopher Eccleston), his solitary world revolving solely around Marion. When she dies, Arthur is
devastated. Lonely, forced to
reevaluate his curmudgeonly outlook on life and encouraged by the caring
Elizabeth, Arthur grudgingly joins the choir and finds himself slowly drawn out
of his shell. But, with a not at
all clichéd last act national choir competition looming, can Arthur reconnect
with his alienated son and rebuild their broken relationship before it’s too
late? Take a wild guess…
Back
in 2006, writer/director Paul Andrew Williams exploded onto the UK film scene with the
ferocious social realist crime thriller London To Brighton. A dark, violent tale of prostitution, child abuse and
redemption, the film announced a bold, visionary new talent who was swiftly
anointed the latest saviour of British cinema. Everyone wondered what he would do next.
What
he did next was 2008’s gory, blood spattered comic horror The Cottage a film that essentially
charts your average weekend break in Suffolk as Reece Shearsmith, Jennifer
Ellison and Gollum are forced to battle rural
inbreds for survival. Everyone
kinda scratched their heads, mumbled and shuffled their feet a bit because it
wasn’t as good as London To Brighton and was kinda derivative and just a bit,
well, inconsequential. But, at
least it was still bold.
Williams
followed The Cottage up with Cherry Tree Lane, a dark, violent but ultimately
disappointing home invasion thriller about a nice middle-class couple being
terrorised by some hoodies. A
comment on Broken Britain’s underclass that felt like it had been ripped from
the rabid pages of the Daily Mail, the best thing about Cherry Tree
Lane was the
sly reference to Mary Poppins in its title, Cherry Tree Lane of course being the
idealised street in the film that the Banks family live on.
Given
Williams’ track record then, you could be forgiven for expecting that his tale
of Terence Stamp’s widower finding solace in his friendship with choir mistress
Gemma Arterton and joining her old biddies in the big choir contest might be a
darker affair. That maybe
(hopefully!) Stamp might flip and rampage through the choir with a straight
razor, saving everyone a trip to Dignitas.
Or go a bit Harry Brown and take out those kids hanging around outside the
community centre. Or maybe get
over his grief by brutally punting Gemma Arterton from behind after forcing her
to wear his dead wife’s clothes, his face a twisted rictus of hate and rage as
he roars “Tell them I’m coming,” like he does in that warehouse scene in The
Limey.
Unfortunately,
none of these things occur. Though
good luck getting that image of Gemma in a dead woman’s clothes out of your
head. A tedious, cynical exercise
in trying to capture that Silver Surfer audience who made The Exotic
Marigold Hotel
such a hit, A Song For Marion couldn’t be more blatant about the audience it’s going
after if it laid a trail of Werther’s Originals right up to the box office.
The
resulting film is cringeworthy and the only person to blame unfortunately is
writer/director Williams. A
thumpingly obvious, feelgood, underdog story where the only way you’ll feel
good is if someone took the dog out from under and shot it in the head, A Song
For Marion is
every bit as clichéd and predictable as you could possibly conceive. From the first moment we see a
miserable, grumpy Stamp stamping around like Victor Meldrew, we know he’ll find
redemption and acceptance by embracing life and leading the choir to
victory. We know from the first
scene between him and estranged son Eccleston, they’ll eventually
reconcile. We know one of the
senior ladies will be a randy, aging sexpot simply to give the wonderful Anne
Reid the
chance to make some HRT jokes like she did on Victoria Woods’ dinnerladies. We know despite being more Born To Be Mild than Wild that these kerrr-razy old
codgers will rock the reluctant Arthur’s world. We know they’ll sing wildly inappropriate songs like Salt-n-Pepa’s Let’s Talk About Sex because, tee hee, wrinklies
talking about S-E-X is funny. And
we know they’ll dress all street like today’s yoot coz blood there’s nuttin
funnier than your granddad in a backwards baseball cap and shades. The only surprise in the film is that
Eccleston and Arterton don’t end up getting together.
The
performances are fine for the most part, Stamp going through the motions like a
pro while Arterton and Eccleston are good but under utilised. The old duffers are annoying and corny
but it’s hardly their fault, they’re not given anything in particular to do
other than sing a few pop songs and get on and off a bus. None of them are really differentiated
as characters; they’re just one amorphous grey blob of choir. The real revelation however is Vanessa
Redgrave who hasn’t been quite this bad since 1971’s Mary, Queen Of Scots where her Scots accent
encouraged you to look forward to her decapitation with glee and made Dick
Van Dyke’s
Cockernee turn in Mary Poppins sound as authentic as Barbara Windsor’s. It’s a horrible statement to make but
she just can’t die quickly enough from cancer. In this film obviously.
A
nauseating slice of sentimentality that fails principally because you don’t
care about ANY of the characters, perhaps the most depressing thing about A
Song For Marion
isn’t the money, time and talent Williams has wasted but that Celine Dion
warbles over the credits and it feels entirely fitting.
David Watson
Directed by:
Written by:
Produced by:
Starring:
Gemma Arterton,
Christopher Eccleston, Vanessa Redgrave, Terence Stamp,
Anne Reid
and Calita Rainford
Genres:
Comedy, Drama
Language:
English
Runtime:
1 hour 33
minutes
Certificate:
PG
Rating:
UK
Cinema Release Date:
Friday
22nd February
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